Vocation

So, today I was in an interview for a mindless job in a call center, that I will probably take for the money, it's full time and offers benefits...and I haven't heard back from the church job I applied to a few weeks ago. But anyways, in my interview today I said something along the lines of "Religion, that's what I do." Which was true... being a religion major, leading Scope, and working for InterAct were all incredibly satisfying, fulfilling, meaningful things. Unfortunately, I graduated and the youth fellows program ended and other than my person relationship with Absolute Reality, prayer, and some books I've had very little to do with religion since May. Today, after my interview I started to question everything... did I want to take this job? Do I want to move? To change my whole life? What do I want to do with my life? What is my purpose? And who the hell am I? I can tell you I have answers for a few of those questions, but no idea on some others. Then, on this train of thought I happened upon the notion of vocation: a concept we discussed often in the Merton seminar. Having a vocation, a calling, makes a lot of sense to me. Some people are just better fit for some jobs, on a base level. To toss some process thought in the mix, God offers us the lure, right, and we have the ability to respond fully to that or not so much... me working at a call center is me not fully responding to the lure. It's me ignoring what I'm rather sure is my vocation- religion. So, tomorrow I'm going to call the church I applied to and beg them to consider me... because part of me has to. No I won't make the same amount of money and it probably doesn't offer benefits but sometimes to do what you're meant to do is more important than a paycheck. I've always known that.